Untitled Josephine Cox 4 Read online

  ‘Does he ever flirt with you, Nan?’

  ‘Of course he does. He flirts with all the women, he just can’t help himself. But I always manage to put him in his place.’

  ‘And do you flirt with him sometimes?’

  ‘Absolutely not! I haven’t seen him in years and back then it was your granddad Derek and our friends that used to while away the hours talking to those two old pals. But with Danny I believe that if you gave him an inch, he would take a yard!’ she added with a little smile. ‘But I have to admit that his is good company.’

  ‘How old is he, Nan?’

  ‘What? How am I supposed to know that?’

  ‘Well, if you don’t know, make a good guess.’ Cathy was insistent.

  Marie had no idea as to Danny’s age, and neither did she want to know. ‘Let me see … I heard him and John arguing years ago as to how they were heading towards the retirement door any time soon. I recall John saying how fortunate they both were to still be in full-time work. Danny reminded him that they were hard workers, and that was probably why they were still gainfully employed. He was willing to bet the last shilling in his pocket that the powers that be would never find a couple of younger blokes who would be willing to work the long hours and still keep a pride in their work.’

  ‘And that’s the truth, Nan?’ Cathy asked. ‘Do they really work all hours?’

  ‘Absolutely! Last night when I’d left the bench to head back to the hotel for my dinner, it was way past six o’clock, and the pair of them were still working away, painting the railings. Yes indeed sweetheart, I do believe that they must be way past their sixties now, and still working like a couple of young lads.’

  ‘So do you think the bosses will let them carry on working?’

  ‘Why all these questions, young lady? I wasn’t up there up to no good!’

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry, Nan, I was just being nosy, that’s all.’

  Cathy had an idea of how lonely her nan had been ever since Granddad Derek had died, even before she herself was born. And she often felt truly sad that she had never known him, because she knew he had been a lovely man from what everyone said about him. Whenever she looked through the family photograph album, his kindly face made her smile.

  Cathy still thought that maybe the little Irishman did have a little fancy for her nan. And if he did, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing if the two of them did get together some time. As far as she could tell, there was nothing wrong in that, although if he were the rascal her nan had described him to be, Cathy did wonder whether he might even be married.

  Her thoughts were interrupted when Marie picked up on the very subject. ‘If I’m honest, I have to admit that Danny is really good company,’ she told Cathy. ‘But he’s a storyteller, and a dreamer. It wouldn’t surprise me if he doesn’t add a few untruths to his supposedly true stories to make them more exciting, and make him seem more like the man every woman wants.’ She laughed. ‘To tell the truth, he really is a scallywag! In fact, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he’s got a couple of wives tucked away somewhere.’

  ‘But you do like him, don’t you, Nan?’

  ‘It’s hard not to like him! In the main, he’s a good and kind man. In the old days, when I was a regular in Blackpool, it was almost like he knew when I was tired or weary. Often, when the sun was burning overhead and I stopped to rest on the bench, he would turn up with an ice cream for me, or a bottle of pop, and if it got too hot in the sunshine, he would always let me sit in the tool-shed where it was nice and cool. One time he even trusted me with the keys.’ She laughed at the memory. ‘That is until the boss found out and threatened him with the sack right there on the Promenade, with everyone listening. I don’t mind telling you, it was embarrassing.’

  She hoped it would not be too long before she was back there again, settling on the Blue Bench with an ice cream and the warm sun shining down on her. And Danny Boy spinning his beautiful yarns, like he actually believed them.

  Now, though, she thought it only right to let Cathy know that she was not the slightest bit interested in any man. ‘Danny is a good and kind fellow, and I’m sure he would make a suitable husband for some lonely woman, but not for me, sweetheart. First of all, I’m not really lonely, especially when I have my wonderful family about me. And besides, I had a truly fine and good man in your granddad, bless his heart and soul, so why would I want a relationship with any other man? No, I am not interested in any man,’ she gave a dreamy kind of smile, ‘and I never will be.’

  ‘I tell you what, Nan!’ said Cathy, cuddling up. ‘Why don’t we all of us go to Blackpool next time – the whole family, I mean? Why don’t we all come with you to the seaside and sit on the Blue Bench and watch the sun set, just like we sometimes used to do?’

  Cathy grew increasingly excited at the idea. ‘Oh, and would it be all right if we took Ronnie? I know he likes Blackpool because they used to go as a family when he was a little boy, and he and Beth haven’t been for a long time.’

  ‘We’ll have to wait and see what the others think. Let’s leave it for a while, eh?’ Marie gave a knowing smile. ‘You really like Ronnie, don’t you? I mean, you’ve been good friends for a year now?’

  ‘A bit longer than that, Nan.’ Cathy blushed. ‘It’s more than “like”. I think it’s getting really serious.’

  ‘I suspected so from what you said earlier. But at your age you don’t want to go diving head first into a serious relationship.’

  When Cathy blushed and simply nodded, Marie suspected that she might have been too stern, and so she made an effort to put it right. ‘I must admit, he does seem like a nice young man, always polite, not too rowdy like the others next door. And he’s good-looking, too.’

  ‘If I tell you a secret, Nan, will you keep it to yourself?’

  ‘Woah!’ Marie did not like the sound of that. ‘So, you’re hiding a secret, are you?’ Both the past and the future rushed in to make her feel guilty. ‘What kind of secret is it?’

  ‘It’s all right, Nan, and please don’t laugh, but, well …’ she blushed crimson.

  ‘Go on then, tell me!’ Marie encouraged her.

  ‘Well, I think …’ Cathy blushed even pinker, ‘I might be in love with him, Nan.’

  Marie was taken aback, and felt an urge to protect this lovely young girl. ‘Cathy, sweetheart, are you sure you don’t just like him a lot, because – well now – I hope you know that “love” and “like” are two sides of the same coin.’

  Cathy was confused. ‘What does that mean, exactly?’

  ‘Well, “loving” someone is a truly huge commitment. It’s a much bigger, more powerful emotion than when you just “like” someone. Love abides much deeper in the heart, whereas liking is a gentler, more disciplined feeling, like the feelings you have for a friend, maybe.’

  ‘But how can you tell which is which, Nan?’

  ‘Well, like I said, with a friend, if you could not see them for maybe a few weeks, it would be all right and you wouldn’t worry too much. Whereas if you love someone, you would probably miss them every minute. You might have such powerful, even painful feelings that you would want to be with that person all the time, you can hardly bear to be apart from them because you miss them too much. And it truly hurts. Do you see what I mean, Cathy?’

  ‘Yes, Nan. I think I do.’

  ‘So is it love, or like that you feel for Ronnie?’

  Cathy’s answer was both swift and decisive. ‘It’s love, Nan. When we’re apart, I feel so terribly lonely. I just want to see him and hold him and hear him laugh. I want him to hold me, and never let me go. I just want to be with him all the time!’

  ‘Shh, it’s all right, you’ll get him back. Ronnie will never abandon you. It’s obvious that he loves you too much for that.’ Marie slid an arm about Cathy’s shoulders. When she thought of her beloved husband, now gone, Marie understood Cathy’s anxiety that Ronnie had had to leave, and her eyes filled with tears. She could see Derek in her mind’s eye, an
d as always she thought if she could only turn back the years and have him here again, she would in an instant.

  ‘Listen to me, sweetheart,’ she urged Cathy. ‘Just now, when you described how you feel when you and Ronnie are apart, well, that’s exactly how I felt with your granddad.’ As the memories flooded back, she paused to compose herself.

  Superimposed on the memories was the shameful thought of how she had disgraced herself in having created a child with a man she had no real feelings for, which only made the deed more sordid and unforgiveable. And yet, whenever she looked at that lovely girl, she had to ask herself, if she could turn back the clock and wipe out what happened, could she? Would she? Would she trade Cathy’s existence in return for a salve to her conscience? Whenever she asked herself that painful question, she always reached the same conclusion. Cathy was so very precious, how could she ever wipe out her very existence?

  Unaware of Marie’s deeper thoughts but seeing sadness in her face, Cathy apologised. ‘I’m sorry, Nan, I didn’t mean to upset you.’

  It was obvious to Cathy that her nan was still thinking of her much-loved husband, and she said as much.

  Marie shrugged off the old memories. ‘You haven’t upset me, sweetheart. I was thinking of you and Ronnie actually, and the way you feel about him.’ She paused momentarily. ‘Will you do something for me, sweetheart?’

  ‘Of course I will, Nan.’

  ‘I just want you to promise me that you won’t rush into anything, You’re not yet nineteen, and Ronnie is in his early twenties, so you and Ronnie have time on your side to get to know each other much better before you actually start thinking of marrying.’

  Cathy must definitely be told who her real parents were before she offered herself in marriage.

  ‘Nan!’ Cathy was concerned that her nan appeared to have wandered off in deep thought. ‘What’s wrong?’

  Marie brought her thoughts back to reality. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well, you went all silent. I was talking to you, but it was like you had gone into a trance or something, Were you thinking I’m far too young to be talking of getting married?’

  ‘I suppose so. I mean, I don’t think you should not get married – I like Ronnie, he’s a good sort and he adores you – but a wedding will cost a small fortune and, to be honest, I can’t understand what all the rush is about.’ A dreadful thought occurred to her. ‘Oh my Lord, you’re not pregnant, are you?’

  ‘No!’ Cathy giggled. ‘Oh, Nan, is that what you thought?’

  Marie smiled. ‘Not really, I imagine you and Ronnie are both far too sensible to get yourselves in a pickle of that sort.’

  ‘I won’t rush into anything, Nan, hand on heart. I haven’t even told Mum how I really feel about Ronnie.’

  ‘Wise girl not to be in a hurry.’ Marie approved of that. ‘It’s always best to wait and be sure than to make mistakes and be sorry afterwards.’

  Anne popped her head around the door.

  ‘What are you two plotting?’ she asked. ‘You’ve been in here ages.’

  ‘Just chatting,’ said Marie.

  ‘We’ve got a lot to talk about,’ Cathy added.

  ‘We have, that,’ Marie replied, and she and Anne exchanged knowing looks.

  Cathy couldn’t shake the sense that something was wrong, and asked her mum what they had been chatting about when she’d burst in to the sitting room. She was told that her nan had got herself into a sorry state of anxiety, about something and nothing.

  Beyond that curious explanation, her mother would not discuss the incident, in any way, shape or form. Instead, she also made good her escape, and left Cathy wondering if she had done anything to trigger their ‘odd’ behaviour.

  In truth, she wasn’t sure they had been discussing her birthday at all, they seemed too much on edge. But she did still feel that they might have been discussing her. But if that was the case, what could have been so important or private that would make them want to hush up like that?

  After a while though, Cathy told herself she was just being paranoid, and so dismissed the incident from her mind.

  Instead, she focused on Ronnie … the love of her life.

  She was so immensely relieved that he was now fully committed to her, in heart and mind, as she was to him.

  She had a loving family, and she had Ronnie, and she was immensely grateful for all of that. And when Ronnie said those reassuring things to ease her questioning mind, all her doubts would fade away, and so she silently chastised herself for being too anxious about nothing in particular.

  Thankfully, she was blissfully happy with her life. Indeed, she realised just what a fortunate girl she was, to have a strong, supportive family, and she considered herself especially fortunate to have Ronnie … a decent and loving person.

  Sadly though and through no fault of his own, Ronnie was not with her just now, and she felt oddly lonely, and a little afraid.

  He was the love of her life, and always would be. With him by her side, she felt strong, and safe and she ached for the moment when he was back here, with her.

  CHAPTER TEN

  RONNIE HAD BEEN trudging along for almost an hour.

  He had chosen to walk across the fields, because the journey was much shorter, albeit rougher, and mostly uphill. Eventually, he rejoined the town and cut through the narrow walkways between the houses to speed his progress to his sister’s house.

  He felt both worn and hungry, after setting off without a bite to eat. His feet ached like merry hell, and the weight of his knapsack seemed to increase with every step.

  Maybe I should have caught the bus, he thought. But then again, I needed to get out in the fresh air after the noise and chaos of Bob and Peggy’s house … it helps me think. And I need to save every penny I can until I find work.

  The thought of finding a new job, and earning a wage lifted his spirits.

  As he walked along, he wondered if Cathy had got his letter by now. He also wondered if she was missing him like he was missing her. He hoped she realised that he truly meant what he said in the letter: that he loved her, and that one day in the future, he wanted to marry her and be with her for the rest of their lives.

  More than anything, he hoped she understood why he had to leave.

  He had walked to the station in happy anticipation of finding her waiting there with Anne for Marie’s train, but when he neared the station building he saw the place was quiet and there were no taxis drawn up outside. Sure enough, the Manchester train had been and gone, the passengers had dispersed and Cathy was surely heading for home in a taxi. He had missed her.

  He loved her so much, and he wanted to give her the world, but things were not right for him at the moment. It was as though he was stuck in a dead end and he felt miserable, especially as he was now without work or a place to lay his head.

  As he walked from the station, and turned into Beth’s road his troublesome thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a familiar voice. ‘Ronnie!’

  His sister, Beth, was running down the street towards him, and the sight of her filled his heart with love.

  ‘Oh Ronnie!’ she called out excitedly, ‘I wasn’t altogether sure it was you at first. But how lovely to see you!’

  When she threw her arms about his neck he almost toppled over with the weight of the bag hanging over his shoulders. ‘What are you doing here? Have you come to see me at long last? I was wondering if you’d ever call by again after the frosty reception Mike gave you last time. I am really sorry about that.’

  ‘Don’t be,’ Ronnie assured her. ‘It’s all forgotten, so don’t worry, eh?’ They walked to the house arm in arm.

  ‘Come on in and I’ll make you a cuppa,’ Beth said.

  Some four years older than Ronnie, Beth was a shy and gentle woman, with a slim figure and a smile that lit up her small, pale face. Her light brown hair was long and flowing, and she had the brightest brown eyes, which were shining as she led her brother into the house.

  Ronnie
was so very happy to see her, even though it had been only a week or so since he and Cathy had met up with his sister at a little café.

  He made a point of keeping in touch with his only sibling, especially since their parents had died, Beth had married Mike and the family house had been sold. Ronnie had made a vow that he would always keep an eye on his sister. He thought she had made a huge mistake in marrying Mike, the man she adored, and since his last visit here his suspicions were confirmed. Since then he’d made a point of meeting up with her elsewhere.

  As they entered the kitchen, the questions came thick and fast from Beth. ‘What’s happening? Why are you here? It isn’t that I don’t want you to be here, but I’m a little worried.’

  She glanced at the big, heavy knapsack on his shoulder. ‘You haven’t fallen out with the lovely Cathy, have you? She’s the loveliest person – the best girlfriend you’ve ever had – and I know you think the world of each other. Oh, Ronnie, please … don’t tell me you two have fallen out?’

  ‘Hey! No! Look, I’ll explain if I can only get a word in. Cathy and I have not fallen out. I still love her, every little piece of her. And, unbelievably, I think she loves me.’ He hesitated, feeling somewhat nervous. The last time he had been to Beth’s, her husband had not been the most helpful man in the world. He worried deeply about his sister and knew he wouldn’t be welcomed under their roof by Mike – he’d asked once and got short shrift.

  ‘So, what’s happened? Are you all right, Ronnie? Out with it. What’s going on?’

  ‘Nothing is “going on”. Everything is fine. But I need to talk with you and Mike if that’s all right. Now, don’t take offence, but is everything okay between you and Mike?’ He recalled how, some months back, Beth had confessed that she and Mike were suffering a sticky patch in their relationship. He didn’t want to come barging in now if things were awkward between them.